Raising a Kid in Two Houses During A Divorce
When child custody attorneys see couples prepare their kids for a divorce, they take notes. What works well? What helps kids adjust? How do they keep the kids feeling secure and loved?
Dealing With Divorce and Child Custody Issues
A few reminders:
Care for yourself
Reduce your own stress as much as you can. Your child will feel that. If you are a stress case, your child will absorb that anxiety. Figure out what you can do now that you couldn’t do as a married couple – can you spend some nights singing karaoke? Can you spend more time with old friends on nights that your ex has custody? Find those points at which your life could improve with your new situation, and capitalize on those new opportunities.
Minimize the transitions
Can you avoid moving to a new house? Or delay it? Can you keep your child in the same school? Can you keep some of the holiday traditions how they were? Any changes your kids experience will be hard on them, so the less, the better. The more continuity they feel, the better they are equipped to deal with the change in your familiar relationships.
Forgive your ex
It isn’t easy. It never is. But if you can get past the blame and resentment, it will be easier for you all to be together. Your kids can pick up on arguments – even subtle disagreements. If you can remind yourself to forgive, before all spending time together, then it may reduce tensions. Clear the air and get your negativity out before you all see each other.